Youth
by Strangerdale17
Summary: Cyrus and TJ angst fic. Loosely based on Youth by Troye Sivan
1. chapter 1

**Based on youth by Troye Sivan in later chapters. After Cyrus Bar Mitzvah.**

Third Person POV

Cyrus popped another baby tater in his mouth, lost in thought. Usually, Cyrus came to the spoon with Andi or Buffy or even Jonah. _Jonah._ The main reason he sat in the booth alone, overthinking the little things. Cyrus didn't even know if he liked Jonah anymore. Seeing him at his bar mitzvah didn't feel like it always did when he saw jonah. Coming out to Andi was a good thing, but now that she knows, Cyrus can't help but wonder if things will be different between the two of them. The last baby tater was devoured and Cyrus walked to a familiar place.

First Person POV

I walked to the park, the swing set coming into view. The memory of my encounter with TJ burned fresh in my mind. It was weeks ago but felt like yesterday. The swing made a slight creaking noise when I sat on it, most likely not used to my weight. Suddenly, I felt foolish. I gave the majority of my seventh grade school year to Jonah. He was the only thought that crossed my mind. I probably didn't cross his once. I let everything be judged by wether he would like it. My outfit, my mood, probably everything else. I made myself believe I needed him. In reality, I haven't seen him in person for about a week. At school I avoided him, at home I stopped texting him. And I feel great. Not at the moment, but it's been one of my better weeks. It's like Andi said when she broke up with him, I feel free. He was the royal king, and I was just the Jester, a joke.

I flashed back to when TJ and I swung here a month ago. For that time being I was safe from my own intrusive thoughts. Jonah didn't cross my mind once. I was happy. The feeling went away as soon as TJ left. I know I like him but i'm not ready to admit it. Buffy would freak and Andi would side with Buffy. I'm also not ready to get hurt again. Why can't I just have a crush on a girl like all the other guys my age? What's so special about me?

"Muffin" I look behind me and see TJ walking closer. I steady my breathing and put on a fake smile. He sees right through it. "Not so scary basketball guy" I say attempting to lift the mood. The nickname lifts my spirits slightly. TJ sits on the swing next to me and looks into my eyes, "what's wrong" he mutters. "Nothing" I say as a last resort, I can't break down here in front of him. "You said you come here when you feel bad about yourself" damn I did didn't I. "I don't wanna talk about it" I say, Hopefully he will get the message and drop it. "That's fine, just know my doors always open" He says with a little sad smile on his face. Not like over the top like Jonah's smile. Jonah's smile looked like it was rubbing it in that you weren't perfect like him. TJ's smile looked shy, like it would disappear if you blinked. So I didn't blink. I stared until my eyes welled up with tears. This didn't feel like the first time we met under the swing set. It felt different. So I sat and stared at TJ and TJ stared at the ground. I found myself pushing my feet to make the swing move. And TJ did too.

Third Person POV

So they swung there. Thinking about everything and nothing. An unspoken agreement was made between the two. They would never leave each other when they were upset. So when TJ saw a smile on Cyrus' face his job was done. He pulled out his phone to find a text from his mom. "I have to go" mumbled the taller boy. He walked away and Cyrus wanted to call out to him to stay. But Cyrus said nothing and TJ kept walking.

 **I plan on updating this every sunday or when I have time. Cyrus and TJ are mostly OOC. There is hardly any fanfics for TJ and Cyrus so I decided to write one. Please notify me if there is a spelling or grammatical error.**

 **-Amy**


	2. Chapter 2

TJ Pov

I'm feeling it. It's this feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I feel particularly lonely. I have nothing else to do. My mom is at work and i've never even met my dad. I decide to text Cyrus to see if he wants to hang out. I don't feel lonely when i'm with him. He gets it.

 **TJ:** hey cy-guy, wanna hang out at this cool spot I know?

There's this waterfall I found in the woods that no one ever goes to. I see three dots, he's typing. I've always hated the three dots but i've never hated them more than now. They disappear for a moment only to reappear.

 **Cyrus:** yes, I will meet you outside the spoon in 20 minutes.

Alright, so I have 15 minutes to make myself presentable before the 5 minute bike ride to the spoon. I look into the mirror to see a boy with sunken eyes, cracked lips and greasy hair. My eyes scanned the room for a clean t-shirt and land on a cleanish basketball jersey. As much as I want to, I can't meet Cyrus wearing my underwear, so I fished through my closet and found some shorts. Running a comb through my hair, I ran out the door.

Getting my bike out of the shed was a hassle. Escaping with only a single cut on my leg, I kicked off and pedaled down the street. I love this feeling. The wind slicing across my cheeks and face. Ripping through my hair and pushing my clothes to my body. As I pulled up to the spoon, I spot Cyrus standing there on his phone without a bike. **Oh shit, I forgot to tell him to bring his bike.** I pulled up and hit my handbrakes with a squeak. Cyrus looked up, surprised at my sudden arrival.

"Oh, hey TJ" Cyrus adorably mumbled. Clearly something was bothering him but I wasn't gonna make him tell me. He'll tell me when he's ready, I thought.

"Hop on" I ridiculously told him. He got a cute, inquisitive look on his face.

"The pegs on the back" I add on as an after thought, thinking that that was what he was questioning.

"Where's your helmet?" He asked, and my heart did a backflip. The fact that he cares about my safety makes me break into a smile that could put the cheshire cat to shame.

"I don't have one but don't worry, I won't crash" I reassured him, the last thing I need is to hurt him in any way. He puts one foot one the left peg, testing it.

"They're stable" I say, trying to sound like I wasn't relying on the fact that no one ever uses them. He grins a bit and puts both of his feet on either side of my bike. I tried not to take it personally as he leaned back a bit, as to not touch me.

"You might want to hold on" Comes out of my mouth before I can stop it. As soon as I say that, he clings onto me. One arm wrapped around my waist, the other wrapped around my shoulder, brushing against my nipple. I tried to think about anything but Cyrus as I started to pedal my bike towards the woods. I thought of buffy and any boner I would've pooped disappeared instantly. I'm not saying I think Buffy's ugly, it's just that there's nothing sexy about your crushes best friend who is also your enemy. Plus I am a bit too gay for that. I hear Cyrus ask me where we were going. Deciding to keep it a surprise, I just tell him that he would find out soon. Spotting a convenience store in the distance, I started to slow down. When we pulled up to the store, I chained up my bike and started to walk inside. I heard Cyrus whisper "I don't have any money" as if he was ashamed he didn't bring any.

"That's okay, we can share all the snacks I buy" I hurriedly reassure him. When we walk in, I see a teenage boy who looks ready to slit my throat. Cyrus quickly pulls my arm to the candy isle. His eyes lit up like a christmas tree. Well he's Jewish so I guess his eyes lit up like a menorah. He instantly reached for the gummy bears and Sour Patch Kids. He looked up to me and sheepishly smiled, "Umm can I get these" he mumbled. I smiled and reassured him that he could get whatever he liked. Cyrus picked up a basket and put two bags of gummy bears and two bags of Sour Patch Kids. Walking down the aisle, he reached for a chocolate bar on a high shelf but couldn't reach. I grabbed it with ease and he blushed madly. Dropping it in the basket, I left him to find more candy while I headed for chips and soda. Chips were easy, just nacho cheese Doritos. Soda was harder though. In the end, I ended up to just heading to the slushy station and getting a blue slush or for myself and a red slush or for Cyrus. I hope he likes cherry, I thought after pouring it. We met at the checkout, where Cyrus started placing various candies. I placed my chips and slushees, paid, then walked out, Cyrus in tow.

"Are you sure you don't want me to pay you back" Cyrus wondered aloud

"it was pretty expensive". I could afford it. My dad sends me $100 a week for child support. I always insist on my mom keeping it but she always refuses, saying that it's my money and she will support us by working. Cyrus put all of our things into a backpack that I didn't realize he had until now. We got back onto my bike and took off.

When we reached the edge of the woods, I hid my bike under a bush and started walking through the brush. Cyrus seemed reluctant but continued anyway. The walk to the waterfall was short but felt long. Just Cyrus and I walking side by side. A loud silence settled among us and we both felt it. Cyrus stepped closer to me, our hands were brushing as we walked. My brain had exploded, forgetting the basics of living. The rushing go water sounded and I knew we were close. I saw a ledge to sit on and ushered us to it. The view was incredible but as I sat down, Cyrus looked almost alarmed that I was dangling my feet over the ledge. After what looked like frustrated thinking, Cyrus carefully stuck his legs over the cliff and watched the water. It gave me a chance to really look at him. He was wearing a green button up t-shirt and black jeans. It was then that I decided that green was my favorite color on him. He was accessorized with a red Jansport backpack, a star of david necklace and a purple fedora. Forget what I said about green being my favorite color on him, my favorite colors on him are definitely green AND purple. He emptied he backpack carefully and fingered trough the contents. Picking up a bag of gummy bears, Cyrus tore open the bag with his teeth. I tried not to think anything sexual but it was like trying not to struggle when you're drowning.

After we had both eaten our bags of gummy bears, Cyrus pulled out our slushees. They were half melted but I didn't care, I would take anything cold in this heat. As we slurped our slushees, I debated taking my shirt off. When we finished our slushees I looked over at Cyrus's cherry died lips and thought of what it would be like kissing them. A bead of sweat rolled down my neck, but it wasn't because of the heat. I reached for the rim of my shirt, the sudden movement catching Cyrus's eye. As I tugged my jersey off I wondered if Cyrus would do the same. We made eye contact and I nodded a little. He started shakily undoing the buttons and the time it took became agonizing. Sparing occasional glances at each other, we continued to eat in silence. As I munched on doritos I looked over to Cyrus, who was finishing his chocolate bar. The shorter boy had chocolate on his bottom lip.

"You have chocolate…" I trailed off, purposely pointing at his top lip.

"Here" I say, and I reach over. My thumb brushes the chocolate off of his soft, smooth lip. As an afterthought, I licked my finger and Cyrus gaped at me.

"I love Sour Patch Kids because they seem sour on the outside but once you get past that, they're sweet… kinda like you" Cyrus admitted blushing redder than his slushee. I smiled and this was my chance. This was my moment to kiss him. We were both smiling and staring into eachothers eyes. I started to lean in and then Cyrus did too. I was closer to the edge and as we both twisted in odd positions, I lost my footing and started to slip. I shrieked and groped at Cyrus but all that did was bring him down with me. And we fell into the waterfall…

 **I haven't uploaded in like a month and for that I apologize. I just saw a review and got inspired to write this. Don't worry though, I will probably update next weekend -Amy.**


End file.
